Worst night of my life

So a couple months ago I had open heart surgery, which wasn't fun- actauly it sucks. But what I'm guessing most people don't know is why it sucks. If someone were to ask me, "Whats the worst part? I bet its right after surgery, when your in alot of pain, or that first day when you can't get out of bed"
NO
The worst part is the 4th night. The night before I go home actauly. The forth night is precipitated by the 4th day, which is basically the first day they start bringing you Tylenol as a pain killer, because you are no longer in pain, and in fact everything is fantastic, I'm walking around all over the place, playing games, watching movies, and all that. Thats the calm before the storm. Its always lightest before dusk.The night starts like this, roughly. My nurse says that she will come in and give me some meds at 10:00 pm and at 6:00 am, that way I get 8 hours of sleep uninterrupted- the irony. After watching some T.V. I go to sleep- wrong. There is a hammering and pounding from the room adjacent like a construction crew was setting up to rip out the dry wall, but were interrupted by a steel-toe-booted rhino with a jackhammer. I actauly tolerate noise very well when trying to sleep, but my mom does not- if it had instead been a slipper footed kola bear, she still might not have been able to sleep. In any case, she went into the hallway and discovered it was someone cleaning the room. Eventually the noise stopped and the room was either very clean or very demolished. Everything was settling back down, and at 10:00 ish the nurse came in and gave me some meds and hung a new IV drip. These I.V. drips are automatedly (thats totally a word) controlled by these fanastic machines whose function is to make frog like croaks when they work, and to beep very loudly when they don't- I couldn't sleep with that croaking 10 inches from my head, so after while I got up to use the bathroom- while in the bathroom the device switched to what I suspect is its preferred mode, not working, and beeping very loudly. After hurrying out of the bathroom and waiting a bit, a nurse came in and fixed it, setting it back to croak mode, which after about another 30 minutes switches to a third mode, the finished mode, which I neglected to mention earlier, as it is basically identical to "not working" mode, characterized by very loud beeping. My nurse came in a turned it off, and I thought now I would finally get a chance to sleep. I fell asleep for about 30 minutes, after which I discovered that my body had decided to stop regulating my body temperature, which might not seem like a big deal right? Just take off or put on another blanket right? No. I had on a sheet, and the room was about 70 degrees because I felt really warm. After those 30 min of sleep I woke up, laying on my back, with my back literally soaked with sweat- I didn't discover this untill I move slightly, exposing part of my back, which allowed the sweat to preform its actual function- to cool me off. After rolling over out of disgust my back froze, which prompted my body to crank up the thermostat while I drifted back to sleep, wedged on the side of my bed, i.e. the non-sweat soaked portion. I awoke with my side in the state my back had been, which I "solved" by rolling back on my now dry back, and thus I spent a couple hours like a roast on spit, slowly broiled by my own uncalibrated internal thermostat. I eventually got up and changed into a dry robe thing, with hopes that my body would finally figure out that I was not floating in the vacuum of space, with one side boiling under the suns unfiltered radiation, while the other side froze into ice. When  laid back down I was relatively comfortable, insofar as a beached salmon is relatively more comfortable than a lobster is being boiled. I'm not sure what time it was at this point, but what little time I had left before the next time a nurse woke me up, I was going to spend sleeping like a rock. With my bodies thermostat calibrated, or at least turned off, this seemed possible, until a new sensation ravaged my mind. I don't know why, but at that moment I NEEDED A Q-TIP. More than anything in the world. My entire conscience was suddenly channeled into the irrational need of my right ear for a Q-TIP. I clawed at the side of my head, only making the itching sensation worse. desperately I buried my ear in the cool side of my pillow, trying not to think about my left ear, lest it be overcome at well. No matter what I did, it was not enough. I think in my sleep deprived insanity and desperation I would have killed for a simple bit of cotton wrapped around a paper stick. I ended up getting out of bed and making my way to a box of Kleenex, tearing of a small piece, in some hope that I could assuage the inexorable demands of my ear. It did not, and I was forced to wait it out. Sleep was out of the question. Eventually, after literary staring at the ceiling for hours a nurse came in to adjust something or rather, which woke my mom up, and after the nurse left, I lost it. I'm not sure what I was laughing at, but I could not stop- my mom was laughing to, mostly at the general insanity of the situation, but it was clear that I was the one whose mind had finally snapped. I laughed until I was in serious pain, which didn't take long since laughing involves violent spasming of your chest, which in my case had been recently stitched and wired back in place. After a life time of laughing I drew a few haggard breaths, laid down, and managed to suppress the few chuckled that threaten to escape. At this point I believe an X-Ray tech came in and was confused as to why I couldn't keep a straight face, but then told me that the x-ray had been delayed and left. I laid sleepless for an additional parcel of time before my nurse came in at 6:00 am, gave me meds, and reset the croaking/beeping machine.