Explorer vs Chome

Really no contest, chrome is the far popular choice, for many reasons, so I won't waste time talking about what we already know. But I do want to take a moment to share with you all a moment of affirmation for these truisms that I experienced earlier today. I had to open explorer today because some website wasn't playing nice with chrome (This is where the fourteen explorer fans jump out from behind a bush, and say - "Ha! See! If you used explorer you wouldn't ever need to... um.... open explorer... Well I guess you would have to.... every time you used the internet...")  Anyways, so I had to open the start menu, and find the explorer icon, cause explorer is about 12th in line for getting a spot on my already full task bar. Now, at the time I was thinking to myself, "I wonder if explorer is as bad as I think it is? Maybe Microsoft has improved it since I last used it- maybe my opinions towards it are just amplified personifications of a million software snobs who love to be condescending to those who use "inferior" software. Nope- its actually that terrible, as I found as soon as I clicked the icon (well, technically not "as soon"- I had to wait *gasp* a few seconds for it to open). I saw this:

(note the more worthy icons in my task bar)

Wow- an entire page (which didn't load fast- bit and pieces of it pop until existence until it fully congealed) of things I do not want to look at- adds, pointless news, I just want a search bar. However, it seems explorer has taken the approach of "If people just want search bars, we'll give them 7!" seriously- seven search bars. 3 of them are directly bing search bars- what are they thinking at explorer head quarters? Maybe if we put enough bing search bars in the user's face, statically, they will start to you our search engine by means of confusion. If so, bings main user base may be confused gazelles driven into the spear lined pit that is bing by the maddening drums played by the reckless Microsoft advertising devision. Wow- that may have gone a bit too far; I should probably scale that back given, let me see (tabbing over to new tab in chrome), 11% of my readers use explorer (71% use chrome). Now, I want to be fair- I realize that when you use explorer, you can get rid of alot of that stuff, and change your home page, and what not, and its probably faster than it once was- I guess my main issue is that when you first start using, the way it presents itself is terrible. Also, google does everything- docs, email, search engine, bloging, just everything, so I like to be on the browser where that stuff can be integrated- if I choose to.

earthquake boston cambridge 8/23/2011

just felt it-crazy

Raptors- could they get worse?

So, like many people, I have a rational fear of raptors. Jurassic park has convinced me that they are the perfect killing machine, just the right size, speed, intellect, and malice to hunt humans. When I am walking places- down hall ways, down roads, down sidewalks, ect, I like/need to look around to determine what exactly I would do if a raptor suddenly appears- say i'm cornered in an eight story building? Without prior consideration I would be highly un-evolved bird food before it occurred to me to break a window and climb down the side of the building- or at least die trying. Also the loud noise of breaking glass might buy me a few seconds of time. Most of the time, no matter where you are, the best thing you can do is get into a room with a door and lock the door- raptors can open doors, but claws aren't good at holding lock picks. The good news is there are doors everywhere, meaning most of the time I am "safe". Then, after a friend finally convinced me to, I saw the X-men movie series. It occurred to me that the perfect predator could be made even more deadly- with a adamantium infused skeleton- can you imagine!? Adamantium claws that could cut through doors like rice paper. It was a chilling realization. Now, I realized that a raptor without metal enhancements could probably break down a door and eat you, but that's a good bit of effort, and there are probably less prepared human running around on the other side of the door. But an adamantium raptor would be angry- I mean, more angry than wolverine, because pure unadulterated fury has been bred into these animals since the dawn of time, and if you hide behind a door, that's just makes the raptor even more blood-crazed, and likely to eat you. I know what your're thinking- who on earth would infuse a raptor adamantium!? Well, hmmm. Whow would create the ultimate killer, a metal infused raptor? Probably the same guys who would make the second most ultimate killer- the non-metal infused raptor! And guess what? those guys are the only people on earth with access to raptors, so really it not a stretch of the imagination- its just logic. I know now you are probably are terrified, and scrambling to amend your building raptor emergency protocol, so I offer my best bet for how to escape an adamantium raptor invasion.
1. Build a house out of granite, preferable 3 meters thick everywhere- while its true a raptor could eventually cut through it, it would take a long time (maybe 12 minutes, tops) at least its better than drywall
2. Sink you house into the bottom of crater lake- this is the deepest lake in the united states. Raptors are not know for their swimming ability, and an adamantium infused raptor will downright sink. Also, as a bonus, crater lake is on the top of an ice covered dead volcano, so for most of the months of the year, it will be too cold for most of those cold blooded killers to get to you

Good luck!