So, like many people, I have a rational fear of raptors. Jurassic park has convinced me that they are the perfect killing machine, just the right size, speed, intellect, and malice to hunt humans. When I am walking places- down hall ways, down roads, down sidewalks, ect, I like/need to look around to determine what exactly I would do if a raptor suddenly appears- say i'm cornered in an eight story building? Without prior consideration I would be highly un-evolved bird food before it occurred to me to break a window and climb down the side of the building- or at least die trying. Also the loud noise of breaking glass might buy me a few seconds of time. Most of the time, no matter where you are, the best thing you can do is get into a room with a door and lock the door- raptors can open doors, but claws aren't good at holding lock picks. The good news is there are doors everywhere, meaning most of the time I am "safe". Then, after a friend finally convinced me to, I saw the X-men movie series. It occurred to me that the perfect predator could be made even more deadly- with a adamantium infused skeleton- can you imagine!? Adamantium claws that could cut through doors like rice paper. It was a chilling realization. Now, I realized that a raptor without metal enhancements could probably break down a door and eat you, but that's a good bit of effort, and there are probably less prepared human running around on the other side of the door. But an adamantium raptor would be angry- I mean, more angry than wolverine, because pure unadulterated fury has been bred into these animals since the dawn of time, and if you hide behind a door, that's just makes the raptor even more blood-crazed, and likely to eat you. I know what your're thinking- who on earth would infuse a raptor adamantium!? Well, hmmm. Whow would create the ultimate killer, a metal infused raptor? Probably the same guys who would make the second most ultimate killer- the non-metal infused raptor! And guess what? those guys are the only people on earth with access to raptors, so really it not a stretch of the imagination- its just logic. I know now you are probably are terrified, and scrambling to amend your building raptor emergency protocol, so I offer my best bet for how to escape an adamantium raptor invasion.
1. Build a house out of granite, preferable 3 meters thick everywhere- while its true a raptor could eventually cut through it, it would take a long time (maybe 12 minutes, tops) at least its better than drywall
2. Sink you house into the bottom of crater lake- this is the deepest lake in the united states. Raptors are not know for their swimming ability, and an adamantium infused raptor will downright sink. Also, as a bonus, crater lake is on the top of an ice covered dead volcano, so for most of the months of the year, it will be too cold for most of those cold blooded killers to get to you
Good luck!
Evidence is converging on the conclusion that many dinosaurs were not, in fact, cold blooded, but rather warm blooded. So, basically, these cold-blooded (in terms of malice) warm-blooded (in terms of physiology) killers could still get you in Crater Lake.
ReplyDeletereally how many people could a raptor eat before it gets full. I say work on the top floor of a tall and fully occupied building and just wait for the raptor to become so fat that you could just walk away from it.
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